your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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