Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
