Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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