He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
