Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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