i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
