So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
tell me about the eggs
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