My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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