Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
