Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't turn off my feet"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
