sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize