Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
