I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
