i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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