I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
