That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
