No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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