he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
