I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
