so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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