apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
