I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
