this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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