If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize