Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
