Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
