I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
