I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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