im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
