Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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