you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
