I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
