I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
