Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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