We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
