i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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