Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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