I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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