i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
