life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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