I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize