im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
