Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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