I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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