Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
