I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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