college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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