My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
