So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize