ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
