Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Randomize
