Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i came on her dog
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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