Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
