i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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