I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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