found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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